Friday, November 27, 2009
When I was little, in school they would have us make a list of things that we were thankful for. The list would typicly have family, pets, friends, food... that kind of stuff. Out of habbit evey year I think of the things that I am thankful for. Last year I didn't know that I was pregnant. And If you asked me a little over 2 months ago what I was going to put on my thankfl list this year. I would have simply said Tianna. I would have been thanful for my new family. My baby girl. Today is the 27th of November... Making it 2 months since she has been taken from me. Stolen. What do I have to be tahnkful for? I hate when people say that I should be thankful to have had her for 5 weeks. They make it seem like I am being selfish for wanting my baby here with me. "She's with your Grandmother now, be thankful to have such a great babysitter." There is nothing like a mothers love. No one could care for her like me. I know that they are just trying to help, but it doesn't. I would be thankful to get my baby back... I would be thankful to beable to hold her again, to give her just one more kiss, to be able to tell her I love her. I would be thankful to be able to watch her grow up, to be able to hear her laugh, her voice. To see her smile, her eyes. But I have nothing. I have been robbed of lifes greatest gift. And for that I can not be thankful. There is no way to twist any of it to make me thankful. I am full of too much anger to be thankful. So this year I didn't make a list... Instead I cried.