Please take no offense...

I got the idea to make this blog from a friend. He and his wife recently lost a beautiful baby girl. And that has made us part of the same club. If you are a friend or family member, close or distant, please don't be offended that I did not open this blog to you. Your support has been great. However, the pain that I have, the sadness that I feel can only be understood by fellow club members. Feel free to stay and read, and comment. Some of the things that are said are not towards you. This blog is for my grief and my pain.

With Love, Maddie

Friday, November 27, 2009

Unthankful Thanksgiving

When I was little, in school they would have us make a list of things that we were thankful for. The list would typicly have family, pets, friends, food... that kind of stuff. Out of habbit evey year I think of the things that I am thankful for. Last year I didn't know that I was pregnant. And If you asked me a little over 2 months ago what I was going to put on my thankfl list this year. I would have simply said Tianna. I would have been thanful for my new family. My baby girl. Today is the 27th of November... Making it 2 months since she has been taken from me. Stolen. What do I have to be tahnkful for? I hate when people say that I should be thankful to have had her for 5 weeks. They make it seem like I am being selfish for wanting my baby here with me. "She's with your Grandmother now, be thankful to have such a great babysitter." There is nothing like a mothers love. No one could care for her like me. I know that they are just trying to help, but it doesn't. I would be thankful to get my baby back... I would be thankful to beable to hold her again, to give her just one more kiss, to be able to tell her I love her. I would be thankful to be able to watch her grow up, to be able to hear her laugh, her voice. To see her smile, her eyes. But I have nothing. I have been robbed of lifes greatest gift. And for that I can not be thankful. There is no way to twist any of it to make me thankful. I am full of too much anger to be thankful. So this year I didn't make a list... Instead I cried.


  1. I came to your page from Bens.. I am so sorry for your loss.. your daughter was born a day before mine would have turned 1! it was a hard thanksgiving for us too.. so hard..My blog and meeting other bloggers who deal with the loss of a child has helped me so much.. to know that what I am thinking/feeling is not uncommon, and it helps me just to get the words and (some of) the hurt out of my soul and into the universe..

  2. I'm sorry for your loss, and the very late response. It has been really hard.